The Ache is the gap between how life is and how I think it ought to be. The gap between Eden and reality. The longing for perfection and justice that is never fully satisfied this side of heaven. No matter how much I hate it and want it to disappear, the ache never goes away. I tell myself if this happens, then life will be good. If my life were better, then it wouldn’t hurt so much. But the Ache never goes away. In so many moments and situations, the Ache remains. Will ever stop? Is its defeat even a legitimate goal?
In the life of Jesus it seems that the Ache was constantly with him from the very beginning to the very end. He was born in a stable and his mother felt the ache of wanting a warm, safe, clean place to bring him into the world. And yet God’s provision was a stable. The Ache of wanting the whole world to know, but his arrival only known by a faithful few. Everyone in the story instinctively knew that this was no way for a King to be born, and yet it was exactly how the King was supposed to come. The Ache is the gap between how we think it should be and how God made it to be.
As he chose his disciples, the Ache of knowing that Judas would be the one to betray him. And yet, he chose Judas. He walked with him. He ate the Last Supper with him. We see this gap in John 6. He asks his disciples if they too would turn away. Peter makes a beautiful declaration of belief, and yet Jesus feels the ache of knowing that one of them is a devil. The gap between good and evil.
And how does Jesus deal with the ache? Does he run away from it? Does he pursue happiness hoping to remedy the ache? Does he exert his power to force people to change, to make them right? Does he cut off and cast out those who add to the ache? No. Instead he pushes in. He stays consistently true to who he is and what he is called to do.
This is so contrary to everything inside of me. I chase happiness and peace and perfection. I cut off anyone who threatens that. I run away from hard relationships and hard conversations because it’s just easier to ignore the ache. I am satisfied with moments of happiness from my favorite escapes that take me out of the present: shopping, television, movies, and fancy parties that make me feel important.
And yet Jesus seemed content in sadness, chaos and imperfection. He is at peace because he has submitted all things, including himself, to His Father. He asked Judas to be one of the Twelve because that’s what the Father asked him to do. He knew the Father had a purpose for the ache: His glory. The Ache is what makes Jesus beautiful, unfathomable, supreme over all.
Jesus shows us that we don’t have to be afraid of the ache. We don’t have to run away from it or try to fix it. That the pain of life is mixed in with the joy. Like the joy of sharing a good meal with good friends and the pain of knowing that it will be the last time. The joy of feeling life in your womb and the pain of knowing it will be short lived. The joy of being who you were made to be and the pain of being rejected and misunderstood. Both exist in life simultaneously.
It is because of Jesus that the biggest ache, the biggest gap between God’s righteous perfection and my unrighteous imperfection, has been bridged by the blood of Christ. Every other ache is temporary. Every other ache will be remedied in His eternal Presence. This is the hope we have: that because of Jesus, it won’t always be like this.
But for now…it is. Like Jesus, I must trust the good hand of the sovereign God who is working all things for good. In the ache, I remain true. I pay attention to my heart. I push in to hard relationships and hard conversations to know Him more, to follow in his steps more closely. So rather than run from the ache, try to fix it or change it, because of His example, I embrace it.